in 3 days, we leave for vegas, baby! a college friend of mine is getting married. and another old friend, my oldest friend, in fact, lives in vegas. once upon time we were bffs in middle school, then her family moved to saudi arabia. yes, saudi arabia. we kept in touch for a while, but you know how things go. then randomly, one of the first days of college, we spotted each other at a soccer game. and of course it was like no time had passed at all.

so, needless to say, the next three days of work are going to feel like torture. except for when i’m planning outfits / makeup looks / driving playlists.

man, i love a good roadtrip!

But on Monday I got knocked on my ass by allergies. Stupid crappy allergies. Which is weird because I’ve been taking my meds and never was I stuffed up or sneezing. But boy was I coughing! And coughing. I barely got through Monday at work so I took Tuesday and Wednesday off. I couldn’t sleep to save my life. Cough. Cough. Cough. No heavy phlegm, justcoughing.  I was feeling halfway decent on Thursday, so off to work I went. It probably wasn’t until Tuesday that I felt 100%. The strange thing isthat even though all the phlegm and heavy cough issues are gone, I still have a slight nagging dry cough. It sucks!

Needless to say, I haven’t spent any time outdoors and have even shied away from the gym because it’s pretty hard to feel normal with a cough involved. Plus I’m feeling the inertia of being out of the habit for over a week. Ugh. Added onto the fact that I ‘babied’ myself with whatever I wanted to eat. Apparently, even when i’m sick i don’t lose my appetite. So I feel Ike a fat slob who doesn’t quite feel herself yet. Blerg.

So I figured blogging might help me shake these ickies out. No more blah. Quit my whining and put my big girl panties on already. Hoo-rah!

so here we are on friday with no plans of working out, since that icky feeling still lives in my sinuses. i’m not as tired though. i’m really not trying to get myself full-blown sick when it’s supposed to be so friggin’ nice this weekend. and we’re picking up our bikes on sunday! i sure as hell am not missing out on that.

so rest it is. thankfully, i’ve been good about my eating (save monday) and have been walking at lunch. no gold stars, but it’s still something.

on another note, i have another pants story to tell! i got a new pair of jeans in the most unlikely of places. seriously you will never guess. not in a million years…

…

i got jeans at grocery outlet. not just any grocery store, but at an outlet grocery store!! i am so classy! not only that, they’re sassoon. yes, sassoon! that were apparently sold at Walmart. is your mind not blown?

i bought jeans.

at a grocery outlet.

that were originally sold at walmart.

and now reduced and marked down.

i am so high class. no but seriously, dudes. they’re cute! and they make my butt look awe-some! which is a huge score in my world. they didn’t have dressing rooms at the grocery store, so i did the old wrap the waistband around my neck trick to see if it would fit. i figured at $9 it wasn’t that much of a risk. not only did they fit but they look damned good. like good enough that my mom mentioned that i was really losing weight. what what?

yes people, it was one size smaller than my recently mentioned hole-in-the-thighs pair. take that, pants!

so i knew davis would be a great place to shop for bikes. there are enough hippies there that we could actually find a non-pretentious shop. and we did! Cheri (or Sherry or Shari, who knows) at Freewheeler Bikes hooked us up! she had each of us try out a few different styles, swapped out seats for us, adjusted parts and stuff and fit me for a bike i LOVE. and i hate bikes!

no really, i hate bike riding. i didn’t learn until i was like 10 or something, i was so scared. i don’t like going fast ’cause if you fall it hurts more. and i like keeping my skin attached to my body. plus there’s the whole sore crotch thing.

but! i found a cool bike where i can actually reach the ground when i sit on my seat! which helps my fears a lot. i can also sit upright, instead of that stupid hunched aerodynamic position lance armstrong uses. because again, going fast is not my goal. my goal is to enjoy the only physical activity my husband enjoys! so he got a trek hybrid and i got this beaut:

a trek pure deluxe lowstep! description from the website:

Biking doesn’t get any easier than this. Pure’s low stance and stable ride inspire confidence—and you can plant both feet on the ground while sitting on the saddle.

sweet, huh? it’s a bike for chickens like me! i can at least say my bike has gears! and cute retro stylin’, yo!

every review i read seems to be from couples in their 60s, saying how much they love how easy and comfortable it is to ride this bike. of course, i’d pick the AARP approved bike!

i got no shame though. i am super excited about picking up my bike this weekend. and i have never, ever, been excited about riding a bike ever. let’s just hope the hubby can keep up with me!

Friday the 13th started off normal enough. We finally got some sunshine after a scary night of thunderstorms. So I was pretty psyched to get some walking in on the trail at lunch. I pried myself from my desk, popped in my headphones and went on my merry way. About a half a mile out, I got a twinge to pee, but it didn’t really phase me. I got a mile out when it started to rain. I put up my hood and turned back toward my office. Then it started to hail. Effing hail. I considered waiting it out under a thick canopy of trees, but then that twinge I got earlier turned into something much more urgent. And the call wasn’t just for pee anymore. When I say urgent, I mean urgent. So here I am in the downpour of hail, trying urgently to make it back to my office, but I’ve got the shit sweats. I’ve got to find that balance of getting myself to a bathroom as quickly as possible, but making sure things are tight enough back there so as to not have any premature leakage. It was the worst 22 minutes of my life. I’m drenched from hail, sweating, swearing, clenching, praying  to every god that I do not shit my pants at work. 

I finally see my office building and I maneuver my way up the stairs somehow and curse the fact that the bathrooms are at the end of the hall. I pray that I do not run into anyone because I look like a mess and I am certain I am walking like i’ve got a stick up my ass. Plus it is taking all of my energy just to keep things together. A simple smile and hello just might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

But I make it safely to the toilet. Thank god! Not without sacrificing my undies, though. Oy.

Seriously, worst. day. ever.

embarrassing story #1: i normally buy the cheapie leggings at target, but i’ve gone through like half a dozen of them. they just don’t last very long. so i decided to buy a 2-pack of DKNY leggings at costco. they were very affordable – something like $15 for the two. they promised to be all slimming and stuff. and well, they are DKNY so they’ve got to be good, right? i’d recently also bought a fun colorful tunic and paired the two new purchases for a work outfit. everything was kosher and totally awesome. unless i wanted to bend down or over. or a stuff wind blew up my tunic. my new designer leggings were totally opaque up until a crucial point – my bum. by the afternoon, i had tied my cardigan around my waist. stupid donna karan.

pants hate me story #2: because of the size of my thighs, they rub together and wear out the seams of my pants. i’ve gone through at least half a dozen pairs of jeans from various designers because of this phenomenon. i purchased 2 pairs of jeans about 7 months ago – a nice, dark trouser denim pant (which makes my bum looks amazing btw) and a calvin klein pair that fit without even having to hem them. i bought them in a size i despise. but lo and behold, my booty trousers have worn thin and i am still about 10 pounds from a smaller size. so now it’s a race between the integrity of my amateur patch job and my weight loss. obviously, i’d prefer to buy new pants in a smaller size. in fact, at this point i am vowing that that is the only option.

the good news: everyone i know raves about lululemon so one day i sauntered in to see what the big deal was. i was too blinded by their price tags though. you want me to pay $100 for a pair of yoga pants?!?! i get that they’re well made, but really?! so i went in search of more affordable workout pants, which is a challenge because i am 1. cheap and 2. short. capri length sometimes works, or makes me look like a stumpy elf. but i found an awesome pair in the least likely of places – old navy. i say least likely because their quality control there is questionable. i feel like their sizing isn’t consistent and their pants normally do not fit my proportions. but their cropped compression pants fit like a dream! and they felt great during my U-Jam class – very minimal jiggling when i was shakin’ my ass. and only $29! they’re on sale now for $17.99!

so it appears that pants gods have thrown me a bone. by working out in the awesome workout pants, i can whittle my ass and thighs down to a more friction-friendly size.

1. i do have a semi-regular habit of going to the gym now. i am loving U-Jam and found out there is another class offered at a time convenient to me! and i’m picking up running again. it’s slow to be sure, but still it feels good.
2. i’m eating a ton more fruit and vegetables than i was before. my mainly vegetarian routine during the workweek coupled with my new fascination with juicing have totally amped up the fresh produce consumption. so while the weight loss is super slow, i do know i am doing great things for my body.
3. buying 2 new ipads put a damper on our savings this month, but it has allowed us to Facetime with the inlaws, which my husband and his parents thoroughly enjoy. so the money was definitely worth it. and it feels wonderful to be able to treat my husband’s parents to a nice gift after all they’ve done for us.
4. we really have saved a good deal this year. for the most part, we can bank half of our salary. that’s pretty huge if you ask me.

so honestly, not a total loss in any department.

there’s not much in april that seems to excite me. we’ve got 2 big trips in may so i think i just want the days in april to hurry up already. but that’s no way to live life, so i’d like to think of some goals to help april feel more meanintful…

duh.

but it’s just funny how emotions, hormones, stress can make the simplest things so difficult in your mind. and how trapped you can feel within the personal hell you’ve built in your head. thankfully, i’m over that for now. i hate being emo.

some days i can switch it up and try a new makeup look. or i’ll have a little pep in my step from wearing a new shirt. or i’ll get excited about a new recipe to try. but for the most part everything feels so monotonous. then the weekend comes, but for the most part i’ve got some commitment to either my family or my husband.

i think what i crave most is some quality me time. which is kind of ridiculous because i have a fair amount of free time.

part of it is that my favorite part of the day is morning. and most days i’ve got to spend my mornings working for the man. my weekend mornings are awesome, but not enough apparently. part of me feels trapped in all of the responsibility i have, which i shouldn’t be complaining about ’cause i’m childless here. but between work, my mom and family, and my husband, it really is hard to carve out special, productive me time when i’m not just exhausted and want to veg.

so what can i do? that is my problem to solve.